Forming Habits: 3 Things I’ve Found Most Impactful
Habits call for a form of refinement and editing their process.
Obviously there are many people who have written extremely in-depth about habits and productivity and how to establish new habits or change old habits.
However I have found 3 things are most impactful when it comes to whether or not I’ll successfully establish a new habit.
There are more but this is my personal go-to list.
Thing 1: Make the new habit easy
This is obvious. If something is difficult, and you make it easier, it is easier to do. We all know that.
A convenient water bottle makes drinking water first thing in the morning easier.
Journal front and center with a pen next to it makes daily journaling easier.
Supportive hiking boots make taking a walk in the woods easier.
A default workout outfit makes working out easier.
Concrete and achievable subject, time limit and/or word count makes writing easier.
A trusted schedule makes posting easier.
Icebreakers make new projects easier.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
But what tripped me up for a long time, and what trips up a lot of my clients (get in touch if you’re interested in working together) is the process of making a habit easy usually takes many rounds of practice and refinement.
For example: I wanted to drink water first thing in the morning. I set the goal. I never did it.
I tried to habit-stack it with brushing my teeth. My plan was to: brush my teeth, rinse out my mouth, drink some water. I forget that third step more often than not. Apparently my morning tooth brushing is too well ingrained.
But my coffee routine should be able to support another beverage! I go to the kitchen, drink water, grab coffee, and continue. That should work right?
It did not.
It turns out that: go to the kitchen, grab a glass, fill a glass, drink water, put the glass in the dishwasher, and then grab coffee is too many additional steps.
(Apparently I am very particular about my morning routine.)
But there is one last place where drinking water could be added to my morning – as my coffee is cooling, but before I start drinking it.
Every morning my schedule allows, I drink my coffee while reading a book. (Highly recommend!) When I leave a filled water bottle next to my book, then I can put down my coffee, pick up the water bottle, drink water (close to) first thing in the morning, put down the water bottle, and pick up my book. And that is working.
Making new habits easy often requires trial, error, and refinement.
Keep removing barriers and keep trying new things until your habit is established.
Thing 2: Define key the parameters of the new habit
With the water example my key parameters were: 1) drink water, 2) first thing in the morning (by which I really meant before coffee), and 3) (implied) every day.
But I could have decided my key parameters were: a certain quantity of water, or before a certain time in the morning, or a specific number of days per week or per month.
I find this thing particularly helpful with habits that can get complex.
By defining the key parameters (usually informed by the goal or desired outcome) everything else is up for experimentation.
We’ll use marketing a business for this example:
If your goal is staying top of mind for clients and customers, maybe your key parameters are 1) frequency of contact and 2) consistency of brand voice and visuals.
If your goal is to reach new eyes, maybe your key parameters are 1) identifying new watering holes and 2) engaging with new audiences.
If your goal is to increase your comfort and gain familiarity with marketing your business, maybe your key parameters are 1) increase marketing tasks completed and 2) decrease time spent second guessing yourself.
When we clearly identify what we’re trying to achieve, we’re more likely to succeed.
But we’re also more likely to give ourselves the trial and error required to succeed.
Thing 3: Keep everything else flexible
This is the second half of Thing 2, and the reason to bother identifying the key habit parameters. Establishing a new habit is hard enough, increasing the difficulty by adding complexity makes it even harder.
If you’ve identified the key parameters of your new habit, I say, let everything else be up for experimentation. Find out what is working and what is not.
- Could something be even easier or more effective?
- What could be cut without disturbing the heart of the habit?
Because when we can connect with the heart of the habit, we can tap into our intrinsic motivation. We can meet our life where it is. We can meet ourselves where we are.
Then we can let go of how the habit looks and dig into what the habit is.
Photo by Prophsee Journals on Unsplash
Don’t ditch the revision process!
TL;DR Don’t give up when edits get hard. You might save a friend on a deadline.
Once upon a time I did a lot of sewing – professionally and personally. And because I did a fair number of weird projects, there wasn’t always a store bought pattern I could turn to. So I did a lot of pattern drafting too.
Unfortunately pattern paper is one of the few things you cannot get late at night in NYC.
If you know nothing about sewing, all you need to know for this story is: 1) pattern pieces on paper are the same size as the final piece. For example, if you’re sewing a pair of pants you need pattern pieces the length of a leg. 2) Pattern pieces can get large and cumbersome.
You typically buy pattern paper as a wide roll of paper. But you don’t have to use traditional pattern paper. You can use wrapping paper or kraft paper or medical exam table paper or some other options.
All of which I have used, and none of which were available late at night, on a deadline, which is when our story takes place. (As many of the best stories do.)
Fortunately, I did have printer paper and tape. So I started taping pieces of paper together, which I’ve done a number of times and always sucks.
Still more fortunately my roommate was awake, and asked what I was doing.
This particular roommate worked as a lighting designer and had just wrapped a show.
As I explained the dilemma and how pattern paper is ideal but taping together small pieces of paper works in a pinch, and this was indeed a pinch.
They asked if I wanted old lighting plots.
A lighting plot is like a blueprint for the lighting set up in a theater production. And key for this particular story, they were printed just like a blueprint.
I don’t recall the exact size, but any standard blueprint size is larger than 8 ½” x 11” printer paper. So I said an emphatic yes please.
I assumed there would be a small handful and I would mix blueprint sized paper with printer paper and save a little time.
I was very wrong.
My roommate came back with a roll of papers that would put a jumbo roll of wrapping paper to shame.
I must have looked a little surprised by the quantity because they said, sounding very tired, “there were a lot of edits and revisions on this show”.
We had a little back and forth. Are you sure you don’t need these? I’m sure. Do you want to double check them? No. What would you have done with all these otherwise? Stuck them in a corner until I recycled them.*
And eventually I took them, my roommate went to bed, and my project went a lot faster.
I used those papers on many more projects over the years. They were the perfect size for one medium sized pattern piece or a couple of small pieces. And having them on hand meant I rarely ran out of pattern paper in the middle of the night on a deadline again.
Every now and then I think back on that roll of papers – each one representing yet another revision or variation – whenever I want to quit after the third, or fourth (or 10th) round of edits on a piece.
Compared to that jumbo stack of revisions, my project is going great and one more round won’t hurt me.
Moral of the story: keep materials on hand and you won’t run out inconveniently.
And don’t give up on your project, even when the revisions seem like they will never end. (They may save a friend on a deadline.)
*They did eventually all get cut up and recycled. Just with a step in between.
And if you’re curious: one of the weirdest things I ever made was probably sewing a kindergarten chair to an orthopedic back support and covering the whole thing in neon green t-shirts.
Photo by Pickawood on Unsplash
Keep it healthy: setting revenue goals based on how much money you need…
Might as well make your goals good. If you were to define how much money you needed, what would that number include?
A couple notes before we begin:
- This is the reminder I give myself when I find myself slipping into setting financial goals that just cover my bills and nothing more, wondering how I can need less. If you find yourself slipping into that state sometimes too, I hope this might help.
- I am not a financial advisor, and this is not financial advice. And, I have spent over 10 years working with and around freelancers, entrepreneurs, and small businesses – this concept comes from that experience.
When you work in a creative or freelance field, money tends to be a tricky topic – can you make enough?
When you work in entrepreneur and founder circles, money tends to be a tricky topic in a different way – how can you keep as much money in the business as possible?
When you work in small businesses, money tends to be a tricky topic in a third way – how was this month?
But regardless of the field, you do need to set revenue goals / forecasts / plans / expectations. Figuring out your numbers always seems to start with the same question: how much do you need?
How much money do you need?
On the surface it’s a straightforward question. Add up your expenses and there you go, that’s what you need.
But does that number include your future? And does it include your joy?
I have come to learn that not everyone agrees on what needs are.
Covering or not covering your expenses at any frozen moment in time is fairly binary and most of us know which side of the line we’re on at any given point.
But when you are able to cover your basic day-to-day needs, I’ve noticed a tendency to stop and say this is enough. Even if it’s *just* enough, when you squint and hold your breath, and time everything right.
Especially if you come from, or are around, any sort of scarcity.
So I’ve started thinking about revenue goals in terms of two different numbers. A healthy needs number and an unhealthy needs number.
Unhealthy needs number
An unhealthy needs number covers your expenses for today, maybe tomorrow, and maybe a small amount of joy. But does not include longer term savings or future retirement investing.
This is somewhere between very bare bones expenses and the healthy needs number.
You can go a long time making and living off your unhealthy needs revenue number.
When you’re ramping up, it’s a victory worthy of a parade. If you’re handling other caretaking responsibilities, it might be for a season. If your business or creative endeavor is a second act bridging you until retirement, or is your retirement project supplementing other retirement income, you can continue here forever.
But if this is your primary earning career in your primary earning years. Don’t aim to stay here forever.
There isn’t enough financial slack in the system. (And if we’re setting financial goals, might as well make them good.)
Which is where the healthy needs number comes in.
Healthy needs number
Your healthy needs revenue number includes: your present moment, your short term, your long term (like retirement!), and your joy and delight.
It may take a lot of work and time and some luck to get here. You may hit your health needs number some months, and your unhealthy needs number other months. You may spend years hitting one or the other. Knowing both, gives you a sense of where you are, and where you might want to look towards.
I generally figure your healthy needs number is about double your bare necessity needs number. Enough to cover your needs, no questions asked. Plus savings. Plus debt pay off if needed. Plus investments. Plus fun and delight and joy. In different percentages, but they are all there.
The primary distinction is this: your unhealthy needs number enables you to survive. While your healthy needs number enables you to thrive.
This isn’t a level of greed or extraction. It’s the revenue to support a healthy and thriving life, and that’s always a goal worth reaching for.
Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash
